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But he also lived in the beach town of Morehead City, nearly an hour away from New Bern, and his roommate had the car for the night, so could I drive to him?
We had a great night hopping from a seafood restaurant, to a cocktail lounge, to making out at a bar on a dock so close to the water you could dip your feet in.
New Bern was named by Market Watch as one of the top coastal towns in the country to retire to, so that leaves young, single people dating in the equivalent of a recycling bin.
You will inevitably run into an ex, or many, at one of the town’s three main bars. ’ He ignores me.”New women on the scene tend to be in town for weddings; new guys tend to be Marines, though they’re strictly nonmonogamous, due to a pervasive fear that — I shit you not — any woman who wants a relationship is angling for what’s known among locals as a “contract marriage,” an emotionless ploy to snare access to his good military salary and benefits.
He had given his wife everything he could, I believed, and he deserved to go on with his life, be it dinner dates and movies or a partner. Fun is attractive — you can't keep it off your face. " "I like to read — but please don't tell me to join a book group, because I don't know of any." "Not a problem," I replied. Nancy Davidoff Kelton writes about dating after 50 for AARP.Then he cut to the chase: "Is it OK for me to date? In fact, if I weren't married, I'd respond." The woman behind him — an impeccably groomed retired teacher with gorgeous red hair — confided that she'd just been abandoned by her husband of 39 years. I just want dinner, a movie and a little conversation with a man." Glancing at her cool-looking beads and earrings, I was tempted to ask her to accessorize me. "While you're at it," I went on, "tell everyone you know that you want to be fixed up." "That sounds scary." I couldn't argue with that. It was for me too, but the guys who delivered my Chinese food — the only ones I saw when I was newly divorced — weren't in the dating pool. But not taking one is even scarier." The lovely woman looked unconvinced, but I forged ahead." I hesitated, because that "for better or for worse / in sickness and in health" part of the marriage vows was echoing through my mind, and I'm a big fan of loyalty at all costs. " He said he lived in a small town and did not know any women. "He told me he wanted to be alone." She rolled her eyes, then flashed a nervous smile. I suggested she might find kindred spirits at events or on trips for educators, or simply by pursuing whatever activities and hobbies she loves. "Go out to eat in restaurants — alone, not with a friend. I had to leave my comfort zone just to come up to you." "But see? Now just keep going." I told her she was pretty, engaging and easy to talk to, and that men would find her likewise. "Go out for breakfast or lunch." I have no doubt she will.And the winner who showed up in sweatpants and couldn’t buy me a drink because he’d spent his last on a beer and wings special for himself. And there’ve been wonderful guys in the mix too, most of whom fizzled out because in this city, it’s just really hard to fit two people, and their ambitions, into one relationship. ”) Maybe a change of location — to New Bern, North Carolina; Miami, Florida; Austin, Texas; Sioux Falls, South Dakota; Detroit, Michigan; and Los Angeles, California — was the answer.Things move so fast in New York that I only recently stopped to ask myself how I’d wound up here, over 35 and still single, but not always wanting to be. I’d already crossed the fuck-it-something's-got-to-give threshold of my New York dating life. If this trip had been a blind date, I would’ve walked out of the bar the second I saw New Bern’s offerings, via a terrifying night of Tindering.
Brittany, a 26-year-old waitress, tells me that when she joined Tinder, all her friends called her “Tinderella” because it was so weird to be on it. People love to blame Tinder for hookup culture, but Becky joined because she was looking for the opposite.