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But some of my most fascinating and educative encounters with this idea of "Chinese men as undateable" happened online, when I came face-to-face with these opinions distilled into the cold, black-and-white reality of blog posts and expat forums.Back in 2010, I discovered a post on a now-defunct blog authored by expats in Shanghai.These steps are easy to follow and can be applied to others lessons to help improve your skills. In September 1999 -- my first month in China -- I had a huge crush on a guy.He always opened doors for me and wouldn't leave my side until he escorted me all the way to the entrance to my apartment.He helped me buy a bicycle at the secondhand market and even gave me a ride there on the back of his black metal bike.Or so I thought, until one day when I was sharing lunch with my colleagues.
As we stopped on the corner of a side street and watched the mostly-male populous pedaling past us through the intersection, she grimaced. they just aren't." She sounded too casual for a woman who just dismissed the entire male population in China.
In the still, he's locked in an awkward slow-dance embrace with a girl an entire head taller than him, but that's not even the worst of it.
While she leans her head on his in perfect contentment, he has his cheek buried in her bosom while staring at it with a prurient curiosity that surely would have snapped the girl out of her reverie.
But it wouldn't be the last time I would find myself up against these ideas.
As I continued to date the locals in China and eventually married a fellow from Hangzhou, I would come to realize that most expat women in China agreed with my Zhengzhou colleagues. A European woman I worked with in 2001 famously told me that, while she found all Chinese men completely repulsive, she considered Chinese children so adorable.
At the time I was only beginning to learn about negative stereotypes of Asian men that American TV, movies and the media had perpetuated over the years: effeminate, weak, nerdy and, worst of all, sexless and less endowed in a (ahem) certain department.